Monday, October 27, 2008

Broker, broker on the wall...


Over the weeks and months (years?) of the financial crisis I've been watching with great delight the daily line-up of brokers and other financial deviants who have been paraded before us in the newspapers and online.

Sometimes known financial schmuckheads, mostly anonymous broker underlings, but always with despairing--and shocked--faces, at finding themselves in front of kilometres of electonric boards filled with red, red numbers. These images have greeted us every unimaginative news day.

Find the latest gazillion of these images here.

It's always been hard to find images for the business and finance news: they mostly range from the banal dollar-sign-on-a-bag-of-money to the more connotative salt-and-pepper-haired-retirees-wearing-loafers-and-jumpers-tied-around-their-shoulders-grinning-denturishly-as-they-sail-around-on-their-big-fancy-yachts images (which is also file footage for incontinence ads).

Because it would be completely naff and totally unimaginative of the world's press to resort to a thousand versions of the one image to represent the financial crisis, I've decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and suggest other reasons why all these financial-type people have been snapped with their heads in their hands.

1. All work causes allergic reactions (thus the eye rubbing, etc), it's just that all the world's photographers happened to be in the foyers of all the world's major stock markets' headquarters because Warrren Buffett said something about something.

2. They can't believe the botox didn't work. Just HOW are they going to iron out those wrinkles?

3. People who work in the finance industry are actually very sensitive people who care deeply about those they're screwing, I mean their clients. They cry through empathy at the drop of a hat (or a Hang Seng).

4. They've all, simultaneously and collectively, got something in their eye.

5. They're trying to stifle a yawn because they've just opened the paper to the ten billionth image of a broker with their head in their hands. "Oh look, here's one with me rubbing my eyes, and another with me with my hand on my forehead, and another with me..."

I like the Ben Bernanke picture the best: I think he's crying because he doesn't want to play anymore.

* Thanks to The Post Family for the link.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Or more likely they've flipped a contact up under the lid and into the back of the eye. Happens all the time.
Personally I'd like hear to the NYSE bell replaced by a fiddle, so the days trade can we rung in with a morose jig. It just feels better when stuff goes wrong.
Like your work. Stay boiling.

The Dangerous Kettle said...

Ah yes, the old lens-at-the-back-of-the-eye trick. Fools me into thinking they're genuine tears every time.

And I think you're right, a morose jig is just the thing to start the trading day. It has something of the Pied Piper about it. Come to think of it, so does the financial system...

Thanks for calling in.