So off my email went, and I wasn't actually expecting a reply but this has just turned up in my inbox from Mr/Ms Literary Agent:
Many thanks for the invitation. If I hadn't had to say no to so many invitations for [insert name here] I might be able to accept. Alas, it isn't possible.
In terms of logic, there's no particular reason why saying no to other invitations precludes the acceptance of mine, right? Just like if a waiter asks you if you'd like to order something from the specials menu you're not automatically barred from ordering off the full menu as well, yeah?
On the positive side, I like any email that includes the word 'alas'. It is a seriously under-used words these days; join with me to bring back 'alas'! (In fact, if you have a spare moment today I would love it if you joined me on one of my other campaigns: I am currently most concerned with disengaging 'augurs' from 'well'; do not go 'auguring well' into that good night, I say!)
But back to the email, my questions to you are:
1. Should I reply?
2. If so:
2.1. Should I reply knowingly, like I'm on top of the fact I've been bumped for no logical reason but with all the good cheer implied by 'alas'? OR
2.2. Should I respond with 'tude?
Or:
3. Should I quietly and humbly accept that I am not a unique and beautiful snowflake but in fact simply one of the Christmas-party-inviting hordes?
What say you?
15 comments:
It is with regret I receive your declination of my invitation to participate in season jocularity, singing and frivolity.
Alas I feel it behoves me to advise, I shall not be able to send you a mince pie.
Brilliant, MCL! I do love a bit of behoving; I shall endeavour to use it in a sentence today, along with 'alas' (and if I'm feeling really game I'll go for 'mammoth', 'chump' and 'pontoon' too, just for yucks).
Cripes, I didn't know a Sydney literary type was coming to my Christmas do!
*Note to self - get more gin in*
Do you actually know this agent or is he/she a complete stranger?
kudos to you Mme Kettle for sending that invitation! perhaps if you'd mentioned what whore's-derves you were serving, the answer might have been more positive?
Hold the gin, Ramon! You're spared the Sydney literary type at your Chrissy do: s/he is washing his/her hair that night. Phew, that's today's bullet dodged.
Squib, the agent and I are, alas, strangers, and strangers we shall stay it appears. Unless of course you're an agent and you recently received an invitation to a Sydney Christmas party and you're only pretending you don't live in Sydney, in which case, don't be a stranger! Rescind your 'no', send me a 'yes' and come share some eggnog.
And Ms P, a marvellous suggestion! I really should have outlined the 'whore's-derves' menu. I suspect a Christmas party at your place would be in no way dull.
Ah, have another barrel of beer Mr/Ms Literary Agent while I just get my manuscript and that contract... ho ho ho
Ho ho, no no, Squib! No manuscript to flog, I'm afraid. I actually wrote to ask if I could interview the writer then thought, while I was tapping away, why not invite him/her to the Christmas party, bit o' fun and all that.
I do think a barrel of beer is essential for any contract discussion, though, from signing up to video store membership to taking out a post office box.
I am always available for an interview, my dear Kettle friend. The only fly in the ointment being of course that I don't have a book per se but I'm sure we could use our imaginations
I think we all have a book in us, Cde. Squib.
Mine is What's that thing on me? Get it off, get it off!!!: Your guide to the DTs
Squibelline you have poems, and I've been mulling over writing to you about them for a thingy I'm planning for Feb next year.
Ramon a fine title! I look forward to its release (and cheers for the laugh on a hot and sticky Thursday arvo).
By the way, I'm assuming you mean Delirium Tremens as opposed to Dallas Theological Seminary?
Aww, fair shake of the sauce bottle, Kettle.
I once moved to Adelaide after a prolonged drinking session but I draw the line at Dallas!
Dude, you must respond and you must respond with 'tude! Something rapsterish like: Yo motherfokker! You be dissing the do at ma crib? I be poppin' a cap in yo lily white asssssssssss!
Kettle, oh my! You mean to tell me you have a piece planned on glossophobia and poetry clams? Seriously though, if you need any poets, I know stacks
Ramon, I draw the line at Ceduna
Ramon I eagerly await your post explaining your move to Adelaide. Mercy, what a place to end up after a prolonged drinking session.
And dear Senji, you are a trouble-maker of the most admirable kind.
And Squib, that's a great offer, thanks. I should have a clearer idea what my thingy will be about closer to Christmas so I'll drop you a note around then, if that's cool; cheers!
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