Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Home appliance cheats, compiles headlines

Just a quick sticks one... big day tomorrow, etc.

Today's Top Cornball Headlines:

1. "Pene for your thoughts, Tom": Yep, Tom Cruise acting creepy around former love-chunks Penelope Cruz at an Oscars after-party.

2. "Lonely Planet tells staff to pack their bags": You guessed it, this one ran in the business section.

3. "No waltzing for Heath's Matilda": I genuinely thought we had an unspoken but general agreement that no waltzy puns would be attached to Heath's little squirt. Shame on you, large media outlet.

Tomorrow: a close analysis of this article: "Robbers loot Greer's home: Academic says female cops at her home looked like cabaret artistes." Oh happy headline days! Bring on the new dawn!

We have all this to look forward to tomorrow. Thanks SMH for bringing us such photo-y goodness. My my, legs 11 indeed.


Miles McClagan said...

I think we live in an age where anything Tom Cruise does is described by "sources" as creepy...if he'd hugged her, it would have been Tom Cruises inappropriate grab upsets Katie...

Damn sources...

Kettle said...

Miles I'm sure it won't surprise you that of course Tom and Pens had a hug, but it was a 'small, distant hug', and of course, Katie was 'absent'.

Why do magazines even bother calling them 'sources'? Why not just write 'a staff writer was sitting around the tea-room sharing a few lamingtons with a sub-editor and they thought it would be a laff to print that Tom was weird because of Katie/scientology/Penelope Cruz/Oprah/John Travolta/fried eggs/climate change...'

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