Saturday, February 21, 2009

Highway to Nowhereville

A street number, doing what it does best.

I had an appointment this week and I decided, most irregularly, to drive.

It should have been easy enough to get to, my online map-thing said it was only 9.1km and 16 minutes away, but by the time I finally reached my destination I felt like Burke and/or Wills and was ready to eat my camels (if only I had thought to bring some).

So after a significant period of time and a rather unpleasant detour that involved rain and walking in it, I arrived, almost an hour late, sputtering and stammering to the receptionist about the stupidity of town planners everywhere.

She laughed good naturedly and said, with nowhere near enough sympathy for my wrong turns, lost hours and wet socks, "oh yes yes, it's the darndest thing, the numbers on this road restart every time it hits a new suburb".

What? Whose crazy-arsed idea was that? Street numbers are supposed to go up! And they're supposed to go up in order! It's their thing! It's what they do!

What kind of roads-based policy maker would come up with the idea of restarting the numbering in every suburb? An evil one, that's who. Next they'll be handing out addresses like 'Over the Hill and Far Away,' 'The Bridge at the End of the World,' or 'Earth', none of which are going to help me get from A to B.

I can't wait until the robots take over the world; they'll sort this shit out.


words, wine, coffee, art said...

Kettle, that woman is a masochist! She has obviously been through this many times before, and enjoys it! Why not make it easier for her/their clients by giving very specific directions? Surely her business would run more smoothly if people were not an hour late?
Some acknowledgement of your frazzlement wouldn't go astray either.

Kettle said...

I hear you, Words and Wine. After the whole ordeal was over I went to a cafe down the road and ordered toast and a class of milk (what am I, five?). I think that as long as the practise insists on being located on such a stupid road it should provide weary travellers with such comfort food and drink as part of their service. Humph.

words, wine, coffee, art said...

milk? I would have needed a double shot coffee!

Kettle said...

Ha ha Words and Wine! With a nice double shot of whiskey in it :)

Senji said...

I've fallen for the old "street numbers re-start between suburbs" trick before!

Kettle said...

Argh! Senji you should hire yourself out to unsuspecting motorists everywhere!