Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Christmas wrap

We have just returned from a fabulous Christmas break in the southern climes, where we ate and were merry many days on end. Those days having now come to an end we find ourselves at home and hungover with uncomfortably tight pants; all signs of a Christmas well spent.

Since it has been a couple of weeks since my last post I do hope you'll indulge me this little Christmas wrap.

The season started brilliantly with the discovery of some irreverent Christmas artworks a few streets away from where I live:

Such tasteful composition, don't you think?

And I'm sure da Vinci would be pleased with the subtle enhancements to his half-smiling Florenzian:

I'm not sure who was originally responsible for the waif to the bottom left of Ms Lisa but I like the cut of her tights.

At a friend's work Christmas party I met the Santa Most Likely To Die From Eyeliner Exposure, which was a particular thrill:

Finally, a match for my drawing skills: this Santa couldn't draw his way out of a dot-to-dot. Happy days!

Some things have deeply mystified me this Christmas season, like this:

What in God's name is a 'glamour camper'? And who goes 'glamour camping'? And who pays $140 so their son/daughter can play pretend 'glamour camping' (whatever the hell it is)? This is everything that's wrong with Christmas.

Equally as mystifying as the glamour camper but $140 less expensive was the sight of this car, motoring along in an adjacent lane on the way out of town:

I like to think it's a tribute to a feminist rock-climber, on the horizontal for transportation only.

Less surprising was the damp end my annual attempt at filing came to:

But the best part of my Christmas break was that everyone was too busy rolling about to stay still for photos. Blurry shots are the best, don't you think?


the projectivist said...

Goodness! Sounds like you've had a lovely Exmass Mme Kettle. Do you have plans for a big New Years send off? We usually head to the beach for fireworks, but with this monsoonal weather that is looking unlikely.

If only i had a life-sized glamour campervan to hold a small, intimate glamorous party in. What a shame.

Whatever your plans are, and even if you don't own a glamour campervan, i hope you have a wonderful New Year. X X

Kettle said...

Thank you gorgeous lorgeous Ms P, I hope you had a great Chrissy too (and that you're still off work, what with all those wicked sales and crazy bargain hunting people roaming the shops).

I think it's going to be wet in Sydney on NYE as well; how will you be celebrating in the wet? We've been wishing the 'Back Chat' countdown was still being screened on the ABC - such glory (rainy) days, *sigh*.

Mad Cat Lady said...

santa = scarily florid complexion
deco's = inspiring

Delighted to hear of your Merry Christmas and hope New Years is equally as wonderful :)

Pants = reckon scary little goblin goes about shrinking pants when we are too inebriated to notice

the projectivist said...

I only had 2 days off, but they were absolute BLISS. I'm working like a crazy person. The people cannot get enough of the Moleskines and leather notebooks right now. There've been some nasty customers this Exmass, but they seem to be calming down now. One lady told me that I'd completely ruined her Exmass because I'd not been able to get a leather travel journal to her on time. I made no promises Mme Kettle. I felt like telling her that if the happiness of her Christmas revolved solely around a bit of stationery, then she might consider re-evaluating her life.

Of course I'm not allowed to say that. I have to bite my tongue and keep repeating my apologies.

Hmmm... New Years Eve. I'm so tired of late that it shall probably be tea and toast and bed by 9pm with a Barbara Cartland novel. I can hardly wait.

Do the Kettle family have big plans?

Kettle said...

Ha ha, Sam! I'm sure you're right about the goblin! Deary me you make me laugh. And 'florid' is the perfect word for that poor Santa's complexion; poor dear, I do hope he made it out of his polyester suit alive.

I'm sorry to hear you've had some nasties this year, Ms P. How ridiculous was that woman about the travel journal? We can only hope in a moment of quiet meditation she realises how completely stupid she sounded. I like your call about re-evaluating her life. What's that old saying: if you're not enough without it you're sure as shit not going to be enough with it? (I paraphrase but a little). Oh well, it's her blood pressure.

And I think your NYE sounds great. Tea and toast rocks, and while I can't vouch for Barbara Cartland a friend just gave me an old Sidney Sheldon for a laff so it looks like we've got great nights ahead of us. Sometimes it's great to be us, eh.

the projectivist said...

yes, hahaha! it is great to be us.

Sidney Sheldon?!
oh lawd.
which one is it?

Kettle said...

Ms P it is the appalling 'Tomorrow Never Comes'. My friend also gave me the Jerry Seinfeld autobiography. Why, oh why would she be so mean? Perhaps I can use them to make shelves, now there's an idea.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

It's 35 degrees down here, so I plan to spend my New Year's Eve slowly going insane.

Kettle said...

Any chance you live near one of those indoor beach centres, Ramon? Great on 35 degree days, although a little more pricey than a six pack and a paddling pool.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Not in Preston Kettle, no.

Kettle said...

Doesn't matter, Ramon. I think a six pack and paddling pool is the better option anyway.

Mad Cat Lady said...

Little wadding pools are boss :) The rain has come here, so I only have to wade out into my backyard.

I'd probably cry if I worked retail.

I ... went through ... a phase ... of reading ... Barbara Carland ... she said breathlessly. Have kept one for laughs caled ... the prince and the ... hellcat.

Kettle said...

Ha ha, MCL! Good on nature for providing a wading pool for you (and saving you $20 at Big W). Is it still malaria season up there (or Dengue Fever season, to be less sensational)? I hope your wading pool doesn't put your life in danger?

And good on Babs for doing everything breathlessly! I'm going to try to be more breathless in 2010; there, what a fabulous resolution.

(Ramon, it's not a real resolution; don't cast astertions or Nasturtiums on me!)

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

In the end it cooled down quite a lot and we sat around drinking Brandy Alexanders - so huzzahs all around.

Kettle said...

Good news, Ramon; sounds like a very dignified evening.

(I'm sure your Brandy Alexanders didn't have the same devastating effects as poor elisabethxoxo's in this review on Taste.com: http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/9455/brandy+alexander)

On that note, happy new year everyone!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Good Lord Kettle!

A cautionary tale indeed.

Kettle said...

And surely a cautionary tale of modern times only; I can't imagine Aesop or the brothers Grimm using such a vehicle (unless of course the original Greek and German were translated by delicate gentlemen in the nineteenth century...).