Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Just call me 'Sadie'... or not

I had occasion to clean yesterday, and it was less fun than I anticipated. As I shifted piles, dusted, sorted crap, re-shifted the same piles, got tired, then bored, then wished I'd never started, I started thinking about the things I'd rather be doing. The top five were:

1. Not cleaning.
2. Sifting through the 'Work Wanted' column looking for someone to clean up my crap for me.
3. Having my tonsils removed.
4. Eating raw eggs (with or without tonsils).
5. Creating a new library classification system (actually, that could be quite fun).

My day of cleaning also led to the following realisations:

1. Paper is a life-form and multiplies when left alone in warm places out of light.
2. There are no prizes for being the messiest person in the house.
3. The underside of the couch harbours many wonderous things.
4. Moving piles from one room to another doesn't fix the problem.

On the plus side, my day of cleaning led to the following delightful finds:

1. A mountain of bull dog clips.
2. Um, actually that's it on the plus side, just lots of bull dog clips, but that's cool, they're great bull dog clips.

On another note, the second Kettle Collective Story is simmering along beautifully here! So far John Howard's son, Baron Bruno, has climbed onto the COLORBOND® Pale Eucalypt® roof and won't come down following a sticky episode with some snailmeal porridge; Janette is despairing about having John about the house all day so has called Blanche D'Apulget for some advice about dealing with deposed leaders of small to medium Pacific nations; Blanche has suggested Janette do something with computer games and pumpkin pie to fix the situation.

So don't leave us hanging! Won't someone bring this story home! Of course, fame, fortune, public adoration etc guaranteed.


Alpha Whale said...

So I was referred here by a friendly who said you are like me! Wow! That was weird! Because hey ho I just cleaned my room too!

What was originally found to be home to festering clouds of dust thriving creatures and mounts of unheaped clothing is now bare floor space; the delight in imagining what the sicking crunches in the layers under my feet could be - dusted out the door with chip crumbs from Halloween past.

Apparently it was a 'fire hazard' however and must have been done in time. So I did it; though I found an alligator clip (it is an alligator plus that is a clip) and some spare coins totaling nearly four dollars - it doesn't seem to amount to the wonders of bull dog clips.

So there is a stranger's comment to your article. Though since I'm now following this blog it seems like I'll gradually become less of a stranger.


Keep it ninja,
Alpha Whale.

PS: The verification word of the day is LUTTI as in, "Look at that yellow Lutti over there. They are extremely rare."

squib said...

I've already contributed half of the Kettle story. I think it's your turn

I've been thinking about putting my books into some sort of order for a long time now. If only I could clear an extra shelf by putting MrSquib's LPs in the bin... hmmmm

words, wine, coffee, art said...

All that effort for some bulldog clips and an alligator clip! I don't think I'll bother.

The Dangerous Kettle said...

Great to make your acquaintaince, Alpha Whale!

It sounds like your day of cleaning was as much fun as mine, and tinged with the same amount of nostalgia for dust-thriving creatures and mysterious under-layer crunching. On the plus side, you made four bucks from your endeavours: unless I sell my bull dogs I'm just breaking even on this exercise.

Now everything's clean we have the happy task of re-clutterfying everything. Oh happy days ahead!

Hi squib! I reckon if you're looking for more shelf space you should think about selling MrSquib's LPs rather than binning them. That way you've got cash for some more books, so really everyone wins! (except poor MrSquib :) ). Thanks for your input to the story; fame and fortune will be delivered this morning.

And Words and Wine! I can only surmise that you're much saner than us poor bull dog and alligator clip-obsessed creatures. We shall have to embark on a course of clip-based therapy to fix that straight away :)