Thursday, June 2, 2011

Signs that 35 may be closer to 40 than 30

1. Watching Deadwood and saying to your partner, "I mean, really, do they need to say 'c*cksucker' quite so much?"

2. Realising that people who were born in 1993 are now eligible to vote. Sero?

3. Automatically picking up the locally produced, gluten and antibiotic-free, certified free range eggs with no added hormones at the supermarket.

4. Deciding amongst your pals whose house to hold the regular poker game at based on who has the most and/or youngest kids.

5. Enjoying a track called 'Blue-winged Kookaburras' on an album called Kakadu: A Celebration of the Wetlands.

6. Eating exactly eight almonds a day because your nutritionist told you to.

What. The. Fuck.

Then again, a darling twenty-something pal of mine who is a fully sick rock band drummer has just started knitting granny squares so hey, maybe 20 is the new 40.


Noonie Trousers and Then Some said...

Girlfriend, you are on a slippery slope. Time to let go and enjoy the ride. Anything that isn't wrinkled will be grey by the end of the year....sero totes babe

Kettle said...

Ah Noons, about two years ago someone said to me, "Really? You've got a kid?" which I took to mean "With your youthful complexion and child-like exuberance I simply can't imagine you being old enough to have a five-year-old son," but on reflection that may not have been what they meant. Muhaha.

The Elephant's Child said...

I earned my wrinkles. AND the grey hair. And being a cantakerous b has a LOT of charm. Roll with it.

eat my shorts said...

I've had this discussion with a friend of mine and it turns out that I was actually born with the mindset of an old lady.

I also like manners (but sometimes forget my own, because I'm an old lady and forget things).

Anonymous said...

On manners: I'm way into politeness, but reckon a lot of etiquette is pompous and wanky. I once got in a punch-up with someone who thought the two shouldn't be separated.

I know I am old because things that are popular often frustrate and annoy me.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Kettle, I find myself muttering "young journos these days".

Hope this makes you feel better

Kettle said...

Ooh TEC I very much like the idea of being cantankerous. I'm going to embrace the spirit and start working on my frown lines.

Dear EMS, with the amount of tea I drink and my dreams of starting a crochet blog I suspect I'm an old person trapped in a mid-30s-person's body too.

And Alex I'm with you on the difference between manners and etiquette (and I have no doubt your part in the punch-up was undertaken in a mannerly fashion). I think manners are about treating people kindly, whereas etiquette is about norms and norms suck (more, the people who believe in them do).

Kettle said...

Hope this makes you feel better

Thanks Ramon, it does. And I'm finding the older I get the more empowered I feel by muttering.

Also, to horribly misquote a line from The Simpsons, "Young people are no good at everything".

See how invigorated you feel after muttering that!

Anonymous said...

Kettle, I thought I'd bring you're attention to the latest xkcd comic*, which I just discovered in my feed-reader. It seemed appropriate.

*If you're unfamiliar, be sure to hover your mouse over the image to see the "punch-line".

Kettle said...

Thanks for the link, Alex; xkcd rocks.

squib said...

Not being certain whether you are 36 or 37 is a bad sign. I'm always counting forward from 74 to work out my age because the years and birthdays are all blurring together

Anonymous said...

I'm with you, Squib. The worst times are when I can't remember my birthday, either. I thought it came from not celebrating them, but that can't be it if it happens to you too.

Kettle said...

I'm with you two, Squib and Alex. I remember as a kid my Grandma turning 76 and thinking (as well as happy birthday and yes, I'd love a piece of strawberry sponge cake) that 76 is a huge number of times to celebrate an event (or not celebrate an event, Alex); it's a huge number of times to do anything.

As a kid it was a long way off (an impossibly long way) but now I've had almost half those celebrations. Messes with your head, does time.