Wednesday, May 26, 2010

How to have a rockin' day

Please find below nine jolly suggestions for how to have a good day, based primarily on avoiding the stupid things I've done in the last 12 hours:

1. Don't set your alarm for 4:30am so you can get some work done then wake everyone up in the process of getting up yourself. Remember there is an inverse relationship between the number of people awake in the house and the amount of work that can be done.

2. Don't balance your coffee on the arm of the couch if you're likely to knock it off straight away.

3. Don't forget your lifelong clumsiness (especially in relation to drinks) when balancing your coffee on the arm of the couch.

4. Don't wait until the rain is at its heaviest before walking to the corner for another coffee.

5. Don't fool yourself into thinking a dress you wore 10 years ago will a. still fit 10 years later, and b. be suitable for a charity ball you're going to in a fortnight's time.

6. Don't leave yourself a fortnight to get organised for a charity ball.

7. Don't sit next to someone for half an hour before they mention their wife and child are at home with hard-core gastro. Open every new conversation with a question on this topic.

8. Don't allow yourself to become disheartened by Kevin Rudd. Remember the Labor party still has Senator Faulkner and he's rad.

9. Don't be surprised, if you attempt to toilet train your child in the course of a single day like I am today, when you step repeatedly in little piles of wee around the house.

Won't you add to the list? I clearly need your help today.

9 comments:

words, wine, coffee, art said...

Poor Kettle! It all began to go wrong when you set your alarm for 4.3 AM!!! Now, I'm an early riser, but not THAT early. Hope the day got better, not worser?

Kettle said...

Ah Words and Wine, I suspect all the souls in my house were lying wide awake at 4:30am; at least they must have been for they fairly leapt up when my itsy bitsy teeny weeny alarm sounded. You know, I even left the computer on last night so the silly Windows start-up chimes wouldn't disturb them.

On the plus side, there's a lot more time in the day when you get up at 4:30am. Starting from that time means the day just keeps going on and on and on and on...

Kettle said...

...and on and on and on...

Kettle said...

...and on still more.

*Sigh*

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

There's a large photo of Senator "Jumpin" John Faulkner over at TSFKA, if that will cheer you up Kettle.

squib said...

4. Don't wait until the rain is at its heaviest before walking to the corner for another coffee.

I stared at this a while, picturing that you must have a coffee machine in the corner of your room. I kept thinking but why would heavy rain be a problem?

People with gastro should be locked up, I always say

I'm actually having a great day, Kettle. I found a little tartan bag with a brass horseshoe clasp in an op shop for only $4. Oh! I do love tartan!

Kettle said...

Cheer me up it did indeed, Ramon. What's not to love about the Faulks? Apparently he's a bit of a hit with the ladies.

Squib, while I would love a localised indoor storm (confined to the front left-hand corner of my living room, say) I did actually schlep, in the rain (like a schlep), to the cafe on the corner of our block for another coffee. Why they don't home deliver I'll never know (unless they don't like schlepping in the rain).

squib said...

cool word, Kettle. I will add that to my beaker

Kettle said...

And I've added 'little tartan bag with a brass horseshoe clasp' to my birthday wish-list, Squib!