Please find below nine jolly suggestions for how to have a good day, based primarily on avoiding the stupid things I've done in the last 12 hours:
1. Don't set your alarm for 4:30am so you can get some work done then wake everyone up in the process of getting up yourself. Remember there is an inverse relationship between the number of people awake in the house and the amount of work that can be done.
2. Don't balance your coffee on the arm of the couch if you're likely to knock it off straight away.
3. Don't forget your lifelong clumsiness (especially in relation to drinks) when balancing your coffee on the arm of the couch.
4. Don't wait until the rain is at its heaviest before walking to the corner for another coffee.
5. Don't fool yourself into thinking a dress you wore 10 years ago will a. still fit 10 years later, and b. be suitable for a charity ball you're going to in a fortnight's time.
6. Don't leave yourself a fortnight to get organised for a charity ball.
7. Don't sit next to someone for half an hour before they mention their wife and child are at home with hard-core gastro. Open every new conversation with a question on this topic.
8. Don't allow yourself to become disheartened by Kevin Rudd. Remember the Labor party still has Senator Faulkner and he's rad.
9. Don't be surprised, if you attempt to toilet train your child in the course of a single day like I am today, when you step repeatedly in little piles of wee around the house.
Won't you add to the list? I clearly need your help today.