Sunday, February 21, 2010

This just in: parking fines still suck

It has been brought to my attention recently by a silly local council-type that doing certain things in car parks is considered dangerous and that doing these certain dangerous things (and getting caught - bugger) warrants immediate recompense by way of handing over $84 to another silly local council-type.

While it's theoretically possible that the first silly local council-type (the one who left the sunny yellow fine notice under my windscreen wiper) was a. primarily concerned for my welfare, and b. a thoroughly reasonable person, it's highly unlikely, so it is that I call on you to join me, dear comrades, in overthrowing the local council parking dictatorship!

Sure the revenue raised from parking fines goes towards maintaining essential services, planting trees, saving baby fur seals et cetera, but couldn't I contribute in some other way than paying $84 for parking the wrong way around in a car spot?

Yes, that was my hideous crime. I did this:


When I should have done this:


Once more in case you missed it (unlikely, I know, given the intense danger inherent in the situation); this:


Instead of:



Mercy, I'm lucky to be alive. Imagine if Obama got it wrong just once and parked front-to-kerb instead of rear-to-kerb; heavens! The whole world would collapse.

So now I have to steal enough plants from local council gardens beds then sell them at the local council markets on Saturday in order to pay my $84 local council parking fine.

Ah-ha! So the system does work after all.

7 comments:

Mad Cat Lady said...

That's just awesome. We were startled on a visit to NSW to get a ticket for not parking close enough to the kerb, but I think yours beats ours hands down :)

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Your council sounds a bit anal, Kettle.

As long as you're not shooting up in the street or stabbing people in the face, my council pretty much leaves you alone.

Kettle said...

NSW is just nuts, MCL. We're happy to dole out fines for kerb-related infractions and then force learner drivers to stay under 80km, even on 110km freeways. It could just be me (and I'm no scientist) but forcing people to drive 30km under the speed limit seems more dangerous than loving the kerb the wrong way. When we're in charge of the world, eh, it'll all be different.

And Ramon, you've given me my line of argument for my letter to the council: "Dear anal council person, I'm writing to request a dismissal of my parking fine; it's not like I was shooting up or stabbing people in the face or anything so get over it. Oh yeah, and screw you."

I like it.

squib said...

Is your car really fluorescent green, Kettle? I think I would have fined you for that alone

Kettle said...

Ha ha, Squib! And it's always night-time when I drive.

Mad Cat Lady said...

oh my goodness! have you seen this? http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_bq6_cE4BJJQ/S4Pk8gigKBI/AAAAAAAAWAI/6hL8U67SxD0/s1600-h/Android+Karenina+cover.jpg

Kettle said...

Oh MCL! That's total wrongness! How funny.