What's a 'schlange'?
Having vented my most pressing whinges last week I thought I'd move on to my most pressing objections. Afterall, to whinge is human but to object is divine.
Indeed it is, so here I go on my path to objectionist divinity:
1. I object to bloggy friends packing up their virtual badminton nets and going home, like Squib and The Projectivist (I haven't yet given up hope, Ms P, but there was something very final about that last capitalised X). Surely starting a blog is like joining the army or having a child: you're in it for life, right?
2. I object to Herman Melville's Typee being such a boring book. What's not to love about Melville's tropical island and cannibals? Don't waste your time reading the book; I'll tell you: everything.
3. I object to silly James Fenimore Cooper calling his characters 'Chingachgook' and 'Natty Bumppo'. For chroist sake, 'Chingachgook' has been stuck in my head on a loop since 1994. It is the world's most annoying word. Ever.
4. I object to my blog template, all bally and bouncy and colourful and sweet. Blech. In addition, I object to my lack of graphic design who-dit and computer know-how which prevent me from installing a less poxy template.
Hmm, I have less objections than I thought, which is surprising and slightly disappointing.
So help me cover up my shortcomings by telling me something you object to. And Squib and Ms P: you can't object to being objected to!