Saturday, June 13, 2009

And another thing

Ooh look! Some bright and shiny things!

I've sat down several times over the last few days intent on writing a few bits and pieces about my new job but I keep getting distracted with little non-job whinges. My ramblings keep coming out like this: "Whinge. Whinge. Whinge. Whinge. Whinge. Oh yeah and I reckon my new job is going to be ay-okay."

So I've decided to embrace the whinge because clearly whinges distract me like bright shiny objects so hopefully once the whingeing is out of the way (stop saying 'whinge' in there) I will have some insightful things to say about starting a new job in a fractured economy.*

Where shall I begin? With whinge number 1:

1. It's cold in Sydney and I keep doing stupid things with powerpoints and power cords that mean I turn the heater off and the toaster on. Stupid stupid stupid.

2. I got a traffic infringement notice for turning left at a 'no left turn' sign. I think road rules can be divided into two groups: essential (stop at red lights) and suggested (no left turn). Unfortunately the constabulary at Newtown Police Station disagreed so made an example of me. I hate being made an example of because no-one learns a thing! The only person who knows I got busted for breaking a road 'suggestion' was the chap in the blue car behind me who did the same thing and got the same infringement notice. For our fines no-one is any wiser.

3. My son keeps waking up between 3.47am and 3.59am. Apparently he's not convinced the day doesn't start then. This is made doubly worse when I keep doing stupid things with powerpoints, power cords and heaters.

4. I got an email from the RTA about my toll pass with the subject heading "Easytoll Account Notification - Account Blacklisted". I'm not sure that my account balance reaching $0 makes me a person or organisation that has incurred disapproval or suspicion or should be boycotted. I would much prefer: "Minimum Account Balance Reached - When you've got a mo', pop over to our website and put some more clams in your bucket. Good on you."

5. To the person who squashed into the inch of space next to me on the train on Friday: squashing does not two foot of space make.

Ah, that's better. And my new job? I reckon it's going to be ay-okay.

* Unlikely.


words, wine, coffee, art said...

Oh Kettle, by the time you wrote this post you had probably been up for close on 3 hours!! And it is still DARK THEN, let alone at 3.47am! May the full moon, or whatever, get the weird negative cosmic stuff sorted out quickly for you. And may your son remember about sleeping in until at least seven, especially on a Saturday.

Kettle said...

Yes, yes indeed, it is still dark at 6am. I had a discussion with a three year old at 6am about it, how in his world 'sun up' meant 'people up' so when there's no sun there really should be no people. He just ran away giggling. I'm pretty sure that means he got it. I'm going to a 9.30pm movie tonight; keep an ear out for my snores.

Samantha said...

my 11yr niece used to get up at all odd hours when she was a toddler and just go put a video on and sit quietly in the lounge and watch it

Kettle said...

That's great, Sam. I've just started teaching my boy the full dvd sequence today. Next Saturday morning is going to be sweeeeeet.

squib said...

Oh! I do like coloured glass!

Glad your job is ay-okay, Kettle

Kettle said...

Thanks Squib. It would be even better if it was a. a coloured glass factory, or b. half a day's work for a full week's pay.

Glad to read over at TSFKA that you've recently written 15 poems. Good on you. I'm sure that means you're ready to start blogging again, right?

Did you buy your Dickens mug?

the projectivist said...

oh your whinges are ever so entertaining, Mme Kettle!

so pleased to hear that the job is putting along nicely. i do hope that they promote you to the corner office with the view soon? i imagine you like the Vogue woman, a vision in a twin set and designer pearls, sunglasses hiding your visage as you purr at the girl:

'Coffee, now! you silly creature!' whilst you go over the morning spreadsheets.

remember those little desk intercom thingies? i bet you have one of those too. i would if i were you. jabbing your finger on it at another interruption from Therese, telling you she had that darn Largerfield on the line again.


Kettle said...

Dear Ms P, I read your comment just before tripping out the door this morning and was chuckling on the inside all day. Oh how I wish we worked in the same place. We could intercom each other all day, and mercy! What we'd do with the Largerfield account! Thanks for the day's laff.

the projectivist said...

oh excellent thought, Mme Kettle!

i can think of a million ways to waste time in an office environment. and just THINK of the fun we'd have bossing 'round that Therese and my gofer boy, Alfonse!

don't even get me started on the long lunches.

Emmspem said...

I do declare! you are whinging nearly as much as me! you are meant to stop me, not encourage!

and oh! little kettle needs to become more like Mr Kettle and not wake up in the moring even if jabbed with a pointy stick.

Kettle said...

Au contraire, Ms P! I think we should get started on the long lunches straight away.

And Emmspem, if only both the small and large-sized gentlemen in my household were late sleepers I would quite possibly be the happiest paper-reading, tea-drinking kettle this side of Mahé. Indeedy.

squib said...

No! Still no time. People want buttons, Kettle. Children want space parties. And there are more writing deadlines

Apparently those mugs aren't available yet

Kettle said...

Ooh ooh Squib! Almost worth a trip to the UK to pick one up personally:

Good to hear the people want buttons! I hope the squirrels are still only working a standard eight-hour day?

Miles McClagan said...

We don't have trains in Tasmania anymore...

They've all gone

Apart from the fun ones outside the shops you put a dollar in...

Kettle said...

Miles I can only hope the disappearance of trains in Tassie is due to the rise in transport options that draw on renewable energy, have little or no emissions and don't sardine-can squash people together? Yes? Yes? I have to believe.

I know all about those coin-operated trains in shopping centres. I know all the trainy characters; ask me, go on, ask me anything about them!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Don't get me started on trains.

The Boy can - and does - explain to complete strangers the diffence between various makes of trains, marshalling yards, signals and points.

It gets a little embarrassing.

Kettle said...

Ah Ramon, what your son needs is his own newspaper column to disperse his train wisdom. That way not only will he be able to reach new audiences but hopefully any parental embarassment you experience will be mitigated by his fledgling salary; everyone wins (and I'll finally find out the difference between signals and points).