Monday, November 24, 2008

Musical Confessional

It's possible that I'm the last person to discover this, but did you know that no-one likes musicals?

Apparently most people would prefer to spend the rest of their days doing public speaking engagements (or heck, their taxes and / or dying) than go to a musical.

In fact, I recently scored free tickets to see the multi-award winning, highly acclaimed smash hit Billy Elliot and my aggrieved viewing companions felt we'd paid too much.

"That's a bit harsh," I thought, as the bell rang to mark the end of intermission. "Silly buggers, just wait 'til they see the second half, I can't WAIT for them to see how it all comes together."

It took me ten minutes to realise THEY WEREN'T COMING BACK.

Anyhoo, so I accept there are problems with musicals, including naffness, general offence to intelligence, and the bringing forward of the onset of dementia. But it's possible (I have to believe it is) that there's someone else out there who could spend a heart-stopping 120 minutes watching grown adults leap around in cat costumes, so for the sake of the two of us, here are some bad-arse musicals that might just win you non-believers over:




Hmm, after staring at my blinking cursor for a good half and hour I've realised there is nothing good about musicals. I wonder if it's too late to get a refund for my ticket to Jerry Springer: The Opera?


Laura Jayne said...

Ok... taking a stab at this. As I have only seen two musicals in my life actually on the stage live and have forgotten the first one it will probably not be very fulfilling, but...

Three reasons to like musicals...

1. They keep the drama kids in high school off the streets at night. Such hooligans those drama kids.

2. They provide a good use for boys with red hair (Seven Brides for Seven Brothers).

3. They teach you unimportant random facts... Oklahoma is windy. There are 76 trombones in the big parade. She is going to wash that man right out of her hair. Never feed a plant human beings and think things aren't going to get out of control. The witch in Oz is terribly misunderstood. Cats have memory issues. Men who wander underground in theaters wearing masks may be best to avoid. Consumption is a drag on your love life.

Laura Jayne said...

Wow... I knew more musicals than I thought. Going away embarrassed now.

squib said...

1. My Fair Lady (I know all the words and if I demonstrate this in singing form I can clear a room fairly quick. A good thing to know if there's a fire)

2. Annie

3. Les Mis

The Dangerous Kettle said...

Hey LJ, your three points had me laughing outloud - cats have memory issues, gold.

With your broad knowledge and intrinsic understanding of musicals I think you might have just outed yourself as a musicals lover! Hopefully there are still tix left for front-row seats at the Jerry Springer opera :)

And squib! I've always thought my encyclopedic knowledge of the Grease songbook and desire to sing it loudly and proudly (read: embarassingly) was something to be ashamed of but now I know it's a public service.

Thanks for the reminder re: Annie and Les Mis, they're back on my top seven list.

There's actually a list of titles on Amazon of musicals for people who don't like musicals. It starts with Hedwig and the Angry Inch and moves all the way down to the Muppets. Who are we to resist?

words, wine, coffee, art said...

Ah Kettle, I'm pleased to see you haven't forgotten
Grease! No-one, but no-one, can hear 'You're the one that I want' without tapping feet, twitching hips and trying(!!) to sing it! Even a sophisticated Kettle, such as yourself, I see.