Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Christmas* wrap

* I'm not sure if it's possible (or advisable?) to begin a post with an asterisk but look! It's where we find ourselves. I do hope you'll forgive me.

I've called on the asterisk in a half-arsed attempt to excuse away my laziness.

You see, I'm more (as in entirely) an atheistic type so wishing everyone a 'merry Christmas' is a bit non-sensical. But as we have just returned from a week interstate and I'm feeling, well, lazy the prospect of writing a few nuanced, sensitively worded paragraphs outlining a few nuanced and sensitive thoughts on the significance of multi- and non-denominational end-of-year celebrations is entirely beyond me.

Let us, in the absence of such commentary, agree to agree that there is something very lovely about getting to the end of the year, about eating wildly excessive amounts of food, and about watching the cricket (just joking Ramon. I haven't actually watched any cricket!).

So in the true lazy-montage-spirit of all B-grade films from the 1980s, here's a bunch of photos from my end of year/wildly excessive food/non-cricket celebrations.

There were martinis with lychee (singular) and blueberries (no way!).

There were a-happenings at the beach (where does the water end and the sky begin, and etc.).

There were ridiculously happy children at water parks.

And Christmas carols, performed ped-style.

There was a long discussion about which was the worst sheet music to admit to owning from childhood (our vote was tied; your thoughts?).

And another long discussion about 'couth' and 'uncouth', for which the Penguin dictionary was absolutely no help whatsoever (at least there were prawns).

There were neighbourhood Christmas lights by people with really, really too much time.

And of course, wanky hipstamatic photos taken willy nilly by lasses who really do know better.

There were badly framed Christmas trees, with surprise elbows!

And curious tins of biscuits at the local supermarket... even more curiously labelled sections.

But best of all, there were lots and lots of happy, blurry photos (aww shit).

Now tell me about your break while I quietly vomit about the sentimentality of my own.


The Elephant's Child said...

Country Practice was the more embarrassing sheet music. Just.

mittent/intermittent. A family of words which ought to exist.

Christmas wouldn't be the same without mangos. And books. And an excess of both.

Glad that yours souned worthwhile. And a happy new year to you as well.

Kettle said...

Mangoes! Books! Dear TEC, sounds like your Christmas has been resplendent with both.

"A family of words which ought to exist."

Exactly. Will you join the campaign to install them? I've been working on "augers poorly" because "augers well" is so well-worn and terribly one-sided. At least one other person (one! Marvellous) has added "augers poorly" to his vocab. That's a win as far as I'm concerned. Let's get 'couthing,' 'gruntling' and 'mittenting' in 2012, eh.

I'm genuinely surprised you think 'A Country Practice' is the more embarrassing. It was such a good show... (no seriously).

Happy new year to you x

Anonymous said...

Your Christmas sounds fantastic Kettle. I'm a little bit envious, but mainly just happy for you. Some points:
• It never ceases to amaze me, the effort that some people put into decorations. I wonder what Squib's place was like?
• They wanted thirty bucks for those bickies? Bit rich, isn't it.
• Who doesn't love surprise elbows.

Now tell me about your break while I quietly vomit about the sentimentality of my own.

Well don't say you didn't ask for this ...

Get a phone call from a fellow I know

Him: My wife and her friends have been watching all these home renovation shows and all of the freinds' husbands have been doing renovations and now my wife thinks I should be doing some too. But I don't know anything about that stuff. You do though, don't you.
Me: Um ... I've done some labouring. I'm, uh, not a builder ...
Him: You're not doing anything for Christmas are you?
Me: Uh, no?
Him: Great. Come on over and spend a few days with us and you can give me some pointers.

The next day

Me: If you're replacing this cladding, you're, uh, gonna hafta replace the cornice and, uh, architraves and stuff too.
Him: That sounds expensive. Let's just cut around that stuff.

Me: Do you have saw horses?
Him: Nope. I have a table we can use.

Me: you're, uh, going to need more tools for this.
Him: Look, if I had the money for that stuff, I wouldn't be doing the job myself.

Me: You, uh, know this stuff in the, um, bathroom is fibro right? It's different to, um, the gyprock in the other rooms.
Him: How so?
Me: They used to make it out of Asbestos. Um, how old is this place.
Him: Don't know. I reckon it'll be safe.

Me: The timbers in your frame are rotten, and, um, I think this looks like white ants.
Him: Let's pretend we didn't see that.

Meanwhile, wifey spent the whole time sniping and giving me dirty looks.

That was my Christmas.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I haven't actually watched any cricket!


eat my shorts said...

Yay for martinis at any time of year!

I'm jealous of your sheet music. No shame.

I had a great but quiet Christmas and a great but loud New Year. It was fun. My sister came to visit from Brisbane for Christmas and my fella came to visit from Sydney for New Years. My sister and I became hooked on the Kardashians on Christmas Day and roped our dad into watching it too. He cacked himself laughing by the end of it. The boyfriend didn't exactly escape from the Kardashians either while he was here. But we did also watch cricket so I think that makes up for it a bit.

Roland Hanekroot said...

my christmas-break or Xmas-break (I have recently been enlightened to the reason for the existence of this silly use of the 'X' to denominate christmas without reference to The Lord Jesus Christ... aaarrrggghhhh)was so incredibly different from yours oh Kettle... and it was an 8-book-break which makes it a very succesful break indeed (in my book)