All I know is that standing absolutely still in your kitchen at six o'clock in the morning in a bikini you bought years ago (inside swimmers = always bad) and sweating means it's going to be a bad day, record-breaking or not.
So here's a few suggestions for what the hot weather can go do with itself:
- Chill the fuck out (sorry, best to get the bad puns out of the way early, don't you think?).
Ok so that's all I've got, which is slightly disappointing but not all that surprising given how bloody hot it is.
So let's do another list. How about: Annoying Things The Heat Has Made Me Do:
- Stick to the couch.
- Wonder anew whether there is a god, and if so, whether he or she is completely sadistic, because how else would you explain the beginning of my annual beer-free period coinciding with the onset of a heat wave?
- Wish I lived in Hobart, with a very reasonable (albeit boring) maximum today of 21 degrees.
On the plus side, this heat wave has led me to uncover one piece of meteorological hilarity. The SMH weather page has a current conditions section which very usefully lists the temperature right now (40.8 degrees), but then perhaps less usefully continues by listing the 'Feels like' temperature, which apparently at the moment is 42.4 degrees.
Actually it feels more like 43 degrees but whatever. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go stand in front of the fan in my vintage swimmers and sweat a bit more.