Thursday, July 16, 2009

Hi, my name is Kettle

This picture of a woolly mammoth has nothing to do with this post. It's a fine looking woolly mammoth, though, don't you think? I did see an elephant at the zoo on the weekend, and elephants are quite similar to woolly mammoths, so there you go.

...and I have a problem (in addition to my propensity for posting entirely unrelated pictures).

I am addicted to courses.

I, for shame, am a course junkie. I feel more alive receiving an enrolment pack than I would wrestling a cow. I have spent more money on HECS and enrolment fees than I've earned in my lifetime. And, for shame, one undergraduate year I even rang the uni bookshop to find out exactly which day the shipment of handbooks for the next year's courses was due to arrive, then rushed in and bought one that very day (as if they'd sell out).

Why all this course craziness? To provide meaning and structure and stave off the herdy gerdy of modern life, of course. Oh, and to fund whole conglomerates of resource centres through donations to photocopy machines and to keep Australia Post afloat through correspondence study. Good on me.

Like a dealer with a little baggie my new job is tempting me with all sorts of courses too: compliance courses and continuous improvement courses and database systems courses, all neatly listed in my very own training plan (or Key Performance Indicator Skills Enhancement Plan).

And wouldn't you know a friend of mine owns a registered training organisation! Forget hunting down a mechanic, a lawyer and a cabinetmaker for your circle of friends; give me a registered training organisation owner any day (of course I've just enrolled in one of his most delightful courses and have spent a very pleasant week reading all about occupational health and safety, *sigh*).

I couldn't be happier in my semester-based world.

On reflection I can see the precise moment when I crossed the line, but ooh ooh look! Advanced Spreadsheeting! Where do I sign?


Anonymous said...

Hahah, oh I can so relate to the anticipation of a course selection guide and an enrolement pack. I agree with you - the possibilities are exciting and endless. I've been at uni for 9 years, count them, 9 years and I have changed degrees four times and campus's three times and don't get me started on the altering my majors and minors.

I'm glad I am in good company. Books awaaayyyyyy!

squib said...

Hang on, that's a woolly mammoth? Where's the woolliness then?

Speadsheeting sounds hideous

Kettle said...

Ah Mel, hurrah a fellow handbook nutbar! We should form a society, drink wine, thumb through our handbooks and sigh contentedly and collectively together. Nine years is a fine uni career; good on you.

Sorry Squib, woolly mammoth in full woolliness now uploaded. That's the last time I trust the interwebs! If only I'd read the full image caption: "Above: Drawing of a wooly mammoth. Below, for comparison, a drawing of a contemporary elephant." So the contemporary elephant made it into my Google images search results, uh-hm. Thank God I'm not a vet. Imagine!

the projectivist said...

if i had money to burn, i'd be enrolled in all manner of courses - photography, pottery, sculpture, knitting, sketching, foreign languages, cooking, sewing, craftystuffingeneral, furniture-making, car maintenance.

i'd meet like-minded people and probably the man of my dreams. but i'm too poor. too poor to afford the frippery of it all, and the man of my dreams is there chatting to some woman called Audrey, and meeting her for drinks afterward in some swanky little wine bar where he tells her about that little place he has in Byron Bay.


Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I do like a good mammoth.

I even like saying "mammoth".

Kettle said...

Ah Ms P, it sounds like our post-lotto-winning scenarios are the same, although I didn't have knitting on my list so thanks for the suggestion. Can I suggest shoe-making for yours?

I've always been suspicious of people named 'Audrey', as well as swanky wine bars. I think that's a bullet dodged on the gentleman front, just quietly.

And Ramon! What a fine word is 'mammoth'. Ah, how it rolls off the tongue, a most pleasing collection of m's with a happy smattering of vowels for interest. Also, wouldn't you like a set of those tusks? Sure make the work day easier.