Very Important World Event

I've been meaning to write something about the UK election but something much more important has happened: we've bought a new fish.

While fish and politicians share many characteristics (they're both slimy, for example), fish are better at forming coherent arguments and are infinitely more endearing than your average Tory backbencher.

But while we have a name for the UK's new prime minister, we don't yet have a name for our new fish. Will you help?

Here's some footage to get your creative wires humming (please note: the new fish is the one that doesn't look like Count Vronsky or Karl Marx, which are the other two fish):




Sorry, I should have warned you about the clarinet. There's nothing like a small range of sample music in a video editing program to help you torture people in cruel and unusual ways.

If you can forgive me the clarinet, what say you for a moniker for this magnificent orange Carassius auratus auratus?

And we have a winner

A hearty thank you to Mad Cat Lady and Ramon Insertnamehere for their excellent suggestions of fish monikers.

Not only were the names they offered excellent in and of themselves, but I also suspect Rosalind, Orlando, Marx and Engels would make for a thoroughly good night out.

But the naming rights of our newest family members have been awarded to Squib who suggested Anna Karenina and Count Vronsky. Hurrah!

Not only is the suggestion of inevitable death appropriate for anything fish- (or plant-) related in my house, but we already have Anna's train, ready and waiting for her final leap!

In a crazy example of life imitating art, I can see now we were just waiting for 'Anna' and 'the Count' to drop into the tank.

So thank you, Squib; now I owe you for the Darwin badge AND the fish names.

What a pair

Every now and then fate throws together two souls destined to make an impact on the social, political and cultural fabric of the day.

Across the world stage has danced such pairings as Kevin and Julia, Antony and Cleopatra, and Torvill and Dean, changing forever the state of social democracy, dramatic irony and spangly leotards (in no particular order).

Another such pairing has occurred of no less monumental import, and it is this to which I draw your attention today: this Christmas saw the arrival in our house of a duo of masters of the watery aesthetic, a couple of purveyors of aquatic order, a brace of caretakers of C class aquariums. This is they:


The only difference between this pair and, say, Achilles and Patroclus is that while the latter have names the former currently do not, and it is in this regard that I turn to you today. Two such fishy heroes must have names; how else will we refer to them in the annals of history?

So, what say you? Do they look like a Napoleon and Josephine to you? A Mork and Mindy? A Bang and Olufsen? Suggestions most welcome.